Finding the meaning

Often I try to find the meaning behind in the pain,
turning over and over
in my mind, attempting to see a figure
in the circumstances that caused me pain.
But I realize today
there is no meaning to these circumstances,
no fault, no place where either of us
went wrong.
There can be dramatic distraction,
You did this and therefore I did that, such
an endless feedback loop.
But in honesty,
there is no where to throw the pain.
Nor is there meaning in the pain.
It is just pain.
There is only meaning in the connection
between this pain and where I go
from here.