Intention goes a long way

This goes along with my realization that you definitely reap what you sow.

One problem I've been grappling with, and which is so culturally pervasive here in the US, is a lack of commitment to virtually anything except a job. Not even marriage really means a commitment, most people wouldn't commit to it without the legal contract.

But getting away from most people and back to me: A friend of a friend sent me this anonymous quote. how appropriate:

until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. all sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. a whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no wo[man] could have dreamed would come her way.

my mind flashes back to a few relationships gone bad, all because neither of us were committed. in the SF bay area (and i am guessing most American cosmopolitan urban settings), we have this illusion, because of the luxury of so much diversity and access to the best of a lot, that we can pick and choose AND have control over it all. and so we wait on something until something better comes along. so it's funny to think about those relationships again and realize what a waste of time they were. "Let's just see how it goes," we tell ourselves in our liberal intellectual way. as if life wouldn't go its own way anyway. but telling that of each other is control.

and then we wonder why love never happened. or why, outside of the area of relationships, other miraculous things don't happen. self-defeating inability to let go of control. distractions that lead nowhere. ventures down streets we know (and sometimes admit) will lead to dead ends.

this is where i am finally getting what i've heard a lot, especially from Mahayana Buddhists, intention is important. life is conditional (hey, it's not news), and we never have the promise of certainty. but intention is real energy. it goes a long way, in whatever direction you take it. if you seek destruction, it will come to you. if you intend to waste time, that's exactly what you get. and if you seek fruit, it will manifest. it has been so useful for me to understand this.

and i am really seeing it work. i clarify and set my intentions in the right direction, and i see possibilities open up. even in difficult situations, little flowers pop up.

on love and relationships

As with everything else larger than our puny lives, experiences, and reasoning faculties, this is true: You don't find love, love finds you

I have really been understanding this more and more.

What's more, relationships (romantic, familial, friend, and otherwise) are so random and conditional on so many levels. People are happy when they're on caffeine. People like you when you've got something to offer them, from sex to social capital to a sense of security, to even a sense of validation. We are bonded through our ability "to relate" to one another. How natural, I've said all along. It is indeed all part of human nature. But more and more, how random, is how I feel about that discovery.

This is making the necessary challenge very clear to me: unconditional happiness, unconditional love. I had never really understood before I started studying and practicing dharma just how one loves another human being no matter what. Lately, it's been making more sense to me, how the flow of love continues and continues and is not attached to a person, thing, or idea. And how it contributes to the world when you commit a simple act of unconditional love. And how freeing it is to be able to expand the heart to love just because, and come what may. And how certain people in our lives can serve the function to help us realize these things, but are not themselves the embodiment of love.